Awakening Dreams – Memories

In honor of Mental Health Month, we discuss memories. Why do we forget them? What causes us to forget? How do we comfort a loved one who has dementia?

The last couple of months have been challenging in that my mom isn’t well, but grateful that she is quickly recovering. Last year, we needed to move her into a nursing facility because of her dementia. It was heartbreaking. Seeing this vibrant outspoken woman’s life change prompted me to find a comparison between depression and dementia. I’ve noticed not only my mom but some others I have known who have suffered from depression are also going through some form of dementia. Can this be true? I looked for a spiritual correlation between the two and didn’t find one that dealt with spiritualism alone and did not have an organized religion association. What I was looking for was are we made to lose cognitive skills in order to forget our depression? Is it a form of letting go of the past? Lao Tzu quoted “If you are depressed, you’re living in the past. If you have anxiety, you’re living in the future. If you have peace, you’re living in the present”.

A study of the association between depression and dementia by HealthDay News reported on WebMD.

“Depression is a risk factor for dementia, researchers report, and people with more symptoms of depression tend to suffer a more rapid decline in thinking and memory skills. While the study found an association between the two, it did not prove a cause-and-effect relationship.”

A Healthline article on vascular dementia

“Vascular dementia is caused by a narrowing or blockage in the blood vessels that provide blood to your brain. This reduced blood flow deprives your brain of much-needed oxygen, which can damage your brain very quickly.

Numerous conditions can cause this reduced blood flow to your brain, including:

high blood pressure
diabetes
aneurysm or blood clot
heart attack
stroke

Of those, stroke is the most common cause of vascular dementia.

Vascular problems, such as stroke, high cholesterol, and hypertension, aren’t related to Alzheimer’s disease, as they are with vascular dementia. There is no known cause of Alzheimer’s, though your risk of developing it increases with age.”

I guess I’m trying to make sense of memory loss. I’m at the stage in my life where many of my friends and family are dealing with a loved one with dementia. It saddens me to see such beautiful people with beautiful lives lose their history.

The poem for this week is Memories—dedicated to my mom; from my upcoming book Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. This poem is also in my book Inspire Me Series Book 1 & 2 with excerpts from my upcoming book.

Memories

Today I go through my mom’s memories
I go through her pictures
I go through her life’s stories
I find her in the past
The memories she has forgotten
The ones from long ago
That linger in the glimpse of her life

Today I go through my mom’s memories
The ones she has tucked away
The ones her strokes cheated from her
The painful memories erased
What can I do to make your life easier?
What can I say to erase your traumas?
Do I ignore—when you forget?
Do I keep your sadness in my heart?

Today I go through my mom’s memories
The disappointments she kept close to her heart
The wanting to be loved yet feeling abandoned
The simple dreams she was deterred from
The disappointments fade
The abandonment fades
The sadness lingers

Today I go through my mom’s memories
And merge my memories with hers
Feeling the sadness, the disappointments
Wishing the sadness to fade

I love you, mom

Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2

AARP article on the Difference Between Dementia & Alzheimers

Symphony of Soul – Dementia a Spiritual Perspective

WebMD – Scientists Shed Light on the Link between Depression & Dementia

May 9, 2022May 13, 2022

Awakening Dreams – Diana Rosen

In this week’s Awakening Dreams episode, we talk with Diana Rosen. We learn about her writing history from a journalist and non-fiction writer to a poet. She has a fascinating history. She reads three poems and two are listed below. Bus Stop Story and Nectarines It’s a Heckuva Fruit!

Diana Rosen is an essayist, poet, and flash writer with credits in online and print journals here in the U.S., Australia, U.K., Canada, and India, including Existere.Ariel Chart, Rattle, and As It Ought to Be Magazine. She is also the author of ten nonfiction books and co-author of three others. She currently contributes content on food and beverage to various websites, and just released her first full-length poetry book, High Stakes & Expectations from the Tiny Publisher. Diana lives in Los Angeles where her backyard is the 4000+ acre Griffith Park, the largest urban green space in the country. To read more of her work, visit www.authory.com/dianarosen. To purchase her book visit www.thetinypublisher.com/shop

Bus Stop Story

The first thing I notice is the fine line of beard outlining his strong chin up to the side of his shiny bald pate. He walks restlessly, rubbing a forefinger along his left temple. Next to me another man poses the usual bus stop questions: Has the Number 50 come? You been waiting long? You work around here? The sound! The sound! Searing right through me it starts like a hum then goes higher, louder, from ah ah ah ah to AYE AYE AYE AYE, the man with the fine line beard flails his arms like a bird ready to soar, whirls and whirls then falls into the street like a boulder tumbling down the side of a mountain. The questioner and I rush to him. Still flailing, his right-hand clenches my left wrist like a crushing vise. We turn them over on their sides now, the questioner says calmly, his cigarette dangling from his matter-of-fact mouth, no more putting sticks in their mouths to hold down the tongue. As we roll the man onto his side, his hand drops heavily from mine, his huge shaking body becomes quiet. I’ve called the paramedics someone else says, they’ll be here soon, and with that, the chartreuse truck rolls up and medics step out, into their official roles. The Number 50 arrives and I climb aboard. The questioner remains with the epileptic. I can’t shake the sound or the feel of his grip. A few weeks later, the man with the fine line beard is back at my stop. I rub my left wrist. Our eyes do not meet.

NECTARINES IT’S A HECKUVA FRUIT!

Juicy warm, broiled with goat cheese and honey,
a must to bring my dad just to hear him laugh,
recite again from his favorite Carl-Reiner-Mel Brooks
recording, with the 2000-year-old man, velvet caped
and gravelly-voiced, who reveals he once dated
Joan of Arc, married hundreds of times, had 42,000
children and not one came to visit!

I don’t care. But they could send a note, write, “Howya, Pop!

True, Dad didn’t date Joan of Arc, but he did date
Pearl, his memories kept in the thick album
Of Kodak black and whites with curvy edges slotted
Into triangle, black corner holders pasted on dull
Cream pages, captioned, “Me and Pearl!” or, “Pearl
And Me” or, my favorite, “Guess Who?”

That Mom had no compunction about this totem
Of his life before us said a lot about their marriage
‘til death did part them. My stepmother helped Dad
buy a new suit and tie to meet Pearl and her husband
for lunch following her surprise call. You know what
happened. Civil conversation. The ride home longer
than to the restaurant, the scrapbook returned
to the shelf. Dad didn’t even reach a century much
less two millennia yet to the end, smiled to see another
fuzz-less peach, sweet nectar of summer, its smooth
skin not unlike Dad’s with its signature blush of red.

I still miss our calls.

What’s the secret to your long life? Reiner asks.
Nectarines! I love that fruit. It’s a heckuva fruit!

Listen to the episode on our website or Podbean or your favorite podcast platform.

May 2, 2022May 16, 2022

Awakening Dreams – Overwhelmed Yet Excited

In this episode of Awakening Dreams, we discuss being overwhelmed yet excited. Have you ever wished for a certain situation to happen, be it a career, family event, or a relationship, only to be overwhelmed when it does? There’s excitement there to see how a dream is materializing and then the overwhelmed button seems to turn on just when you feel your life is going your way. Is it because we’re not prepared? Can it be that we anticipated a different scenario? What we perceive is just that—a perception.
This happened to me lately. As an actor, you want more opportunities to audition. More auditions equal more possibilities of booking a job. Got a new agent, and I assumed the experience I have had in the past, would continue. It didn’t. I’ve been going out on many auditions. It’s so exciting to audition and book one or two here and there. Great! I love it!

The situation of feeling overwhelmed happened when I didn’t alter my regular routine to accommodate the change. I was trying to do it all.

There are several situations in life that needed to be altered. How do I schedule my auditions, regular job, book launch, writing more stories, and still be able to interview/write/edit my podcasts?
I love doing my podcast, so let’s move that to the weekends.
Writing—I can do it early in the morning or do I move it to the evening? Will I be too tired to do it in the evening is my question? Creativity comes from quieting the mind. So how do I decide? I’m thinking of meditating before I write. I’m concerned that I’ll be too tired and just fall asleep. It’s happened and I don’t doubt it’ll happen again. It’s okay. One thing I’ve learned in life is don’t fight your body because, in the end, the body will win.

The pandemic is tapering off and my employer wants me in the office.

I believe the answer is I’m looking for balance because life is good.

So, what is being overwhelmed, excited, and balanced?

Overwhelm
According to the GoodTherapy website, the definition of overwhelmed is emotional overwhelm is a state of being beset by intense emotion that is difficult to manage. It can affect your ability to think and act rationally. It could also prevent you from performing daily tasks.

Excitement
Whereas excitement is an emotional state marked by enthusiasm, eagerness or anticipation, and general arousal (APA Dictionary)/

Balance
Is a harmonious relationship or equilibrium of opposing forces or contrasting elements.

Can we do it all? I believe you can make the most of these situations. First, ask yourself what is really important to you? What are you willing to let go of? Can you write out a pros and cons list for each situation? Quiet the mind. Do some meditation, go for a walk. Do something that brings you joy, right here, right now. Life changes and so can you. Let go of what no longer serves your life. Follow your dreams. We are resilient.

A reading of the poem “Vulnerable” from Inspire Me: Raw.

Until next time when I’ll have more questions. Many blessings.

Listen to the episode on our website or Podbean or your favorite podcast platform.

April 25, 2022

Awakening Dreams – Martina Reisz Newberry

The week we are honored to have poet Martina Reisz Newberry return to the show. We discuss her poem Glyphs in the Canyon from her new book Glyphs. We discuss how her poem, therefore, relates to life’s questions of reincarnation, thoughts, dreams, and perceptions.

Martina Reisz Newberry is the author of 7 books of poetry. Her most recent book is GLYPHS, due out in May 2022 from Deerbrook Editions. She is also the author of BLUES FOR FRENCH ROAST WITH CHICORY, available from Deerbrook Editions, the author of NEVER COMPLETELY AWAKE ( from Deerbrook Editions), WHERE IT GOES (Deerbrook Editions), LEARNING BY ROTE (Deerbrook Editions), RUNNING LIKE A WOMAN WITH HER HAIR ON FIRE: Collected Poems (Red Hen Press), and TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME (Unsolicited Press).

Newberry has been included in The Cenacle, Cog, Blue Nib, Braided Way, Roanoak Review, THAT Literary Review, Mortar Magazine, and many other literary magazines in the U.S. and abroad. Her work is included in the anthologies Marin Poetry Center Anthology, Moontide Press Horror Anthology, A Decade of Sundays: L.A.’s Second Sunday Poetry Series-The First Ten Years, and many others in the U.S. and abroad.

She has been awarded residencies at Yaddo Colony for the Arts, Djerassi Colony for the Arts, and Anderson Center for Disciplinary Arts.

Passionate in her love for Los Angeles, Martina currently lives there with her husband, Brian, a Media Creative.

Listen to the podcast on our podcast page or on the Poetic Resurrection Podcast website.

THE GLYPHS IN THE CANYONS

I’ve forgotten those times between
wakefulness and dozing and sleep.
I know something happened,
but I can’t recall what it was.
It’s like trying to recall where
I was just before I was born.

My friend tells me that this is the
reason I should never fear death.
She says, “You don’t know where you
were before you were born, so why
fret about where you’ll be after
you die?” This is wisdom I can

acknowledge, but from which I glean
no comfort and it is comfort
I want more than nearly any
thing. I want the great eyes of God to
turn my tears to opals and the
great tongue of God to tell me that

life and death are the same–that I
will keep loving and making love, and
walking and humming, and wanting
and holding, and will never lose
my appetite for joy or for
potato chips and onion dip and ice cream.

Between wakefulness and dozing
and sleeping, what is there to know?
Who do I serve awake/asleep?
Who do I honor when I doze?
And why is wakefulness the stain
on all this embalmed paradise?

(In addition, we are Amazon Associates and proceeds go back into the podcast)

Glyphs is available on Amazon

Her other books are also available on Amazon, Deerbrook Editions, and other book retailers.

April 18, 2022April 25, 2022

Awakening Dreams – Inspire Me Perception

In continuing the celebration of poetry month I am reading three poems from Inspire Me: Perception. We are welcoming back poet Martina Reisz Newberry. on our episode on April 25th.

In this episode, I discuss the poems from Inspire Me: Perception.

Inspire Me: Perception was recently re-edited and we will release a compilation book of the first two Inspire Me books this month with a preview of five poems from my upcoming book Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. Enjoy!

The poems in this episode include “Silhouette”—a poem about a traumatic experience “Food”—a poem about my love of food and how a loving family makes fun of you and currently the most popular poem “Tomorrow” about how we view life and rethinking our perceptions. Various lines from “Tomorrow” have been quoted by several websites. Please check out the poetry section on this website.

Silhouette

A dark shadow appears—soul shakes, the body suspends. A story of an altered spirit who’ll manifest soon in the deepest of night. Shadow essence of two-week visit encompasses my thoughts and sleep. If present, she’ll be safe. Who do you speak of, spirit? A man’s silhouette in the early morning as the streetlights gleam upon glistening muscle tone. The sun peeks as my roommate dreams, unconscious of his gaze. In the darkness, a gun rises in his hand, aims at roommate’s head. Silence takes over as the smoke aura scars her fate. Dream propels my slumber, and I go to her room. If I’m present, she’ll be safe repeats. Sunlight dances on my face as the night’s story whispers away. She awakens, “Had that dream again, didn’t you?” “Yes.” Three full moons calendar the sky. Gotham called for her home—She’s safe. Chitown childhood friends summer evening visit—Sunset Strip. Summer heat, sleep half nude as evening completes at midnight. Vocal and joyful friends jest of a man at the window where the drapes bellow. Amusement drains the night as the muscles gleaming silhouette appears. She runs into my bedroom, gun points at third eye—forced out of comfort into the lifeless living room. Essence extends my body as I guard the front door. “Think you’re going somewhere?” He shouts. Gun points for me to sit by piano. The silent melody piano bench where I abide. “On the floor,” he casts me as he bares my skin from sheet. Little sister weeps and window slams, fearing discovery of his carnal acts. Guilt survival mission defuses the present. Escaping—leap two steps—first landing. Leap again, gun at head. Blinding movie screen of my life flashes, steals my sight. Land on corner of step and propelled onto the ground. Not dying, not tonight! Street or parking lot? A straight shot I will not be as I hide beside cars until I can jump a concrete fence that divides the building. Footsteps dissipate. Blood curdling screams echo in the distance. I climb many staircases and a man stands with two dogs. “Please call the police,” I beg. “I think my friend’s dead.” His girlfriend’s pink robe drapes a childhood fear. We hide. Police state, “Stay inside.” Helicopter’s beaming lights—Treble sirens and watchful dogs ease chaotic street. An hour-and-a-half, a knock. Police state, “He escaped—assaulted another woman and stole her car.” Friends approach in a cloud of disbelief, sobbing. They heard my fall, calling—No answer—Saw my death in his hands. Police, “He’ll return.” Neighbor held us safe, and we slept on her floor. My scarred friends left the next day. Never went back. He never paid. Warning from silhouette, but I didn’t understand. Premonition, and it’s real impact. Checking doors and windows for a year, but I know I saved my friends because—I was there.

Food

Reminiscing
Food stories that my family tells
About behavior
Don’t remember, age three or four

Learned to walk, learned to climb
Kitchen chair, telephone books
God forbid family would
Buy a step ladder to make my life easier

An old refrigerator (not old back then)
Lever—jump up and pull down
Sister wonders why fridge is ajar
Opens door—Surprise, it’s me!

Sitting on a shelf eating an apple
She grabs me, fights to get fruit
Tug of war ensues
She wants a chewed apple?

Stomping away (I had such an attitude)
Fruit in hand—I won
Sister retells story as family laughs
I am offended by their laughter

Rope around stove, fridge
Padlock on pantry? Chocks for candy!
Where’s the fruit?
Watch fire in stove—I love fireplaces

Upset, storm off to yellow vinyl 50’s sofa
Jump up and slide back down
Jump up again and again
Oh well, I’ll throw myself on floor

Crying because I’m a miffed child
Check to see if they’re watching
Mom comes over and hugs me
Sit on the big vinyl sofa—Finally!

Tomorrow

If I were to die tomorrow
Would I have organized my home
Would I have left my paperwork in order
Would I have made it easier for my family

If I were to die tomorrow
Would I have followed and completed my dreams
Would I have loved the way I wanted to love
Would I have visited the world like I wanted to

If I were to die tomorrow
Would I have told those that I loved that I love them
Would I have seen the beauty in my own life
Can I say that I lived my life to its fullest

If I were to die tomorrow
Would I have lived today
Would I have loved differently
Would I have felt my life was complete

If I would die tomorrow
A sadness would be there
To know I wasted so much time

If I were to die tomorrow
I would make the unknown
I’d face the unknown I was so afraid of
As I choose my life today with strength and joy

Many Blessings.

April 9, 2022April 18, 2022

Awakening Dreams – Inspire Me Raw

In celebration of poetry month. Poetic Resurrection will interview poets and links to previous poet interviews. In this episode, I will be discussing and reading a few poems from Inspire Me: Raw.

Inspire Me: Raw was recently re-edited and a compilation book of the first two Inspire Me books will be released this month with a preview of five poems from my upcoming book Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. Enjoy!

Please check out the poetry section

Citizen poem was written several months before Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico. When this happened, I was surprised that many didn’t know Puerto Ricans are American Citizens. This poem explains how many Puerto Ricans feel.

Citizen

Curly red hair
Freckled skin
Speaking Spanish
Not fitting in

People’s bias
Perceptions
Ignorance
—Citizen

Where are you from?
How did you get here?
Was it a struggle?
No—Citizen

No boats
No tunnels
No hiding
Airplanes

I belong here
Born here
Educated
—Citizen

Forget was written about a woman who lived in the tenement where I grew up in Chicago. As a child, I would catch her crying in the hallway after her husband physically abused her.

Forget

Sometimes I can’t remember: often, actually
The times I run out and say nothing to you
The times I am angry and pretending to be okay
The times I don’t come home at night

Sometimes I can’t remember: often, actually
When your anger lashes out at me
When you drink too often and hurt me
When you disappear into an aberrant abyss of time

Sometimes I do remember: often, actually
Your cruel words that hurt
Your desire to touch that repulses
Your anger at who you’ve become

I remember and choose to forget
Do you love? As those you love are hurt
Do you know the emergency room—a second home?
Do you understand—Inner scars show more than the ones I wear?

Sometimes I can’t remember: often, actually
The raising of happy children h
The life we thought was possible
The comfort of a safe, loving home

Sometimes I can’t remember: often, actually
How reality needs exposure
How I’ve always remembered
How lights slowly dim on you

Go-Go Boots is about being a ten-year-old child and wanting to be thin so she could wear the sixties fashions. They didn’t fit.

Go-Go Boots

At 10
Made a mistake
Told my teacher that I
Want to lose weight

First diet included
Liver, once a week—Yuk!
Different recipes, so nasty
That’s not what I was seeking

Stood in line for free lunch
Menu: peanut butter cookies
My favorite munchies
I wanted one—Damn!

“Hide one for me, please”
When teacher’s not looking
Don’t want to get teased fo
Failing program on first day

My mom states, “You’re only ten!
No reason for a diet
Wanting to be model thin
Groovy clothes—Buy them
Go-Go boots the stylish trend

Chubby clothes too short
Regular pants too long
Big kid bell-bottoms reach calves
Average size bells at ankles

Others smoke bongs
Skunk weed smell
Permeates halls
Hide don’t tell—jail fate in ‘68

What to do with weight
Insecurities begin
Entire life, same shit—wasted time
And now I’m fine

April 5, 2022April 5, 2022

Awakening Dreams – Intro

Awakening Dreams Season 4 Episode 1 In this week’s episode and intro to season four, we’re going to discuss Awakening Dreams. The next book entitled, Inspire Me: In Time of Need, we changed the subtitled to Awakening Dreams. In Time of Need was a working title and since the pandemic has lessened, Awakening Dreams is a much better description of what many have experience.

There is a newly re-edited compilation book coming out this month. Includes the first two books in the Inspire Me series and then five poems from my upcoming book—Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. The topic for this season is awakening dreams. What dreams and aspirations have you had which led you to a new way of thinking and living? Mine started with reading the book “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”. After that, I became a self-help junkie and couldn’t read enough books on the subject. I also learned that reading them, even though they make you think about your beliefs and actions, the concepts need to be applied. Since then, I only read the books that pertaining to my development at this time. What I have learned and this is so cliché is that you need to live in the present. While worrying about the future and the past, we miss the present. Lao Tzu stated: “If you live in the past, you’re depressed. If you live in the future, you have anxiety. If you live in the present, you have peace.”

In all my soul searching, and that is what it is unless you apply the knowledge you’ve acquired. We need to reflect and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. When I stopped being defensive, which came from insecurity, I became accepting of what my beliefs and behaviors were and how many weren’t even mine. Allow yourself to feel, being grateful even when situations are challenging. And knowing you have value.

The poem for this week is Vulnerable from Inspire Me: Raw.

Call upon angels for clarity
Are they listening?
Meditate, feeling the joy
That enchants the heart

Meditate, letting go
Bliss surrounds me
Chill flows through my spine
Inspiration finds me

Energy flows through my fingers
Onto a notebook page
Close eyes and let life be
Unafraid to be exposed

Allowing myself to be
Love and consideration
How can this be hostile?
Vulnerable exposition

Cold sharpness, head to toe
Release, remove my mask
Golden light surrounds
Fulfills my existence

Many blessings

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