Colors of Life – Confusion

ConfusionThis week on Poetic Resurrection we discuss confusion. Sometimes I wonder why we go through experiences and maybe read too much into it and then we’re confused. This month didn’t get off to a great start for me. My computer crashed and I’m still recovering my info. I usually have an episode ready each Monday but that hasn’t happened this month. One of the pluses so far this month is that I visited my family in Chicago and I’m blessed to have my parents in good health.

What is confusion? Dictionary’s definition is lack of understanding or uncertainty; the state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something. Why do we feel this way? Is it because our heart/soul wants us to change? I’ve noticed when I feel confused is when my heart and my mind are at odds. “Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” Roger Ebert. I feel I should go one way in a situation but my mind disagrees. “The most confused we ever get is when we’re trying to convince our heads of something our heart knows is a lie.” Karen Marie Moning.  “Your eyes may mislead you sometimes. So don’t be serious in observing, listen to your heart at times when you are confused.” Giridhar Alwar. (gi rid te)

Is it fear? Most likely what stops us from going forward is fear. Do we have the finances to change? Will I lose my home? Is my family okay if I decide to move on? Are you ruled by possessions? At times our financial burdens are because we give our power away to possessions. We have to have the latest electronics, fashions, cars, appliances, etc. It’s one thing if your employment requires equipment, it’s your livelihood, or if you have the cash to buy the items. Another is if you’re getting into debt for them. I have in the past, bought items because I thought I would be perceived as well to do. I wasn’t. I lived from paycheck to paycheck, many of us do. This isn’t how I want to live. It’s stressful not to have your rent, mortgage, money to pay bills and I have been guilty of using my credit cards to survive in times of unemployment. “No matter how confused or deluded we may be at the moment, the underlying and essential nature of our being is clear and pure.”  Lama Yeshe. During the pandemic, many of us learned what’s important, and surprisingly I saw many who refuse to change and blamed the pandemic, politics, and companies for their problems. This is known as one aspect in psychology as psychological projection

Psychological projection is the process of misinterpreting what is “inside” as coming from “outside”. It forms the basis of empathy by the projection of personal experiences to understand someone else’s subjective world. In its malignant forms, it is a defense mechanism in which the ego defends itself against disowned and highly negative parts of the self by denying their existence in themselves and attributing them to others, breeding misunderstanding and causing untold interpersonal damage. A bully may project their own feelings of vulnerability onto the target, or a person who is confused may project feelings of confusion and inadequacy onto other people. Projection incorporates blame shifting and can manifest as shame dumping. Projection has been described as an early phase of introjection.  Wikipedia

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Stephen Covey

The poem for this week is Same from Inspire Me: Raw

Contemplating
Day after day
Wonders of fate

Searching for work
Organizing
Wondering what I’ll do today

Decorating
Writing this
Not knowing the end

At this point in life
I thought I’d succeed
By this time –

A house, a car
Children, husband
None of these

Strange thing –
Content
I think?

So much, so little
Overwhelmed
Organize
Decorate

Write
Stability?
Day after day
I do the same

Many blessings.

Listen to the podcast here

If the feelings are overwhelming there are several organizations listed here that can help.

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline/warning-signs-risk-factors

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