Author: Sonia Iris Lozada

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Awakening Dreams – Season 4 Recap

Awakenig Dreams Season 4 RecapAwakening Dreams has been my longest season and mainly to be honest I just didn’t know what theme I wanted for the next season. I feel it should be about life. It’s been challenging for many and myself so I figured let just discuss life’s journeys. I’ll be having more guest and as you probably have notice I’ve changed Poetic Resurrection Podcast to every two weeks with one guest per month and releases on either of these days: Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.

We discussed the following topics in this season. I’ve added the links in the notes.

  1. Ep16 We discussed the difference between Emotional and Mental exhaustion with a reading of the poem “Love and Blessings” from the Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2
  2. Ep 15 Prioritizing and promises and why we break them.
  3. Ep 14 Self-forgiveness – letting go of feelings and emotions and why we prolong self-forgiveness. A reading of the poem “Alliance” from the Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2
  4. Ep 13 Doreen Calderon a fellow actor and transformational coach. We discuss acting, our experiences and how it led her to assist other actors in recognizing their talents.
  5. EP 12 Thierry Kehou from Lampblack and Poets and Writers Magazine. We discuss publishing and his journey in translating to English literature from black Francophone.
  6. Ep 11 Expectations – what are expectations and are they beneficial to our life now.
  7. Ep 10 Evelyn Eccard from Bravo Leadership – we discuss the importance of employment, leadership and what makes us happy.
  8. Ep 9 Paul Meixner a military veteran discussing what Memorial Day means to him.
  9. Ep 8 Mark A Pearson, an entertainment attorney discusses copyright law. If you want to know about copyright law this is the episode to listen to. Great advise.
  10. Ep 7 Memories – this is a heartfelt episode for me as I discuss my mom’s dementia during Mental Health Month and read the poem “Memories”.
  11. Ep 6 Diana Rosen – poet. We discuss her journey and she reads her poems “Bus Stop Story” and “Nectarines: from her book High Stakes and Expectations.
  12. Ep 5 Overwhelmed Yet Excited. When we acquire our desires only to be overwhelmed by them. A reading of the poem “Vulnerable” from the Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2
  13. Ep 4 Martina Reisz Newberry poet reads Glyphs in the Canyon from her book Glyphs.
  14. Ep 3 In observance of poetry month. A reading of the poems “Silhouette, Food and Tomorrow” from Inspire Me Perception Also, available on the Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2
  15. Ep 2 Inspire Me Raw for poetry month. Reading of the poems “Citizen, Forget and Go-Go Boots”. These poems are also available on the Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2.

You can get your copy of the Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2 on Amazon.

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Awakening Dreams-Prioritizing and Promises

Prioritizing and PromisesPrioritizing and Promises. This past weekend, I had everything planned. I was going to organize my guest/craft room by taking everything out and only keep what I will actually use and need. I woke up early on Saturday and then realized that I had an audition self-tape. On Friday, I remember replying to my agent that I will look at the sides for this TV show. Something was nagging at me to look at the sides in the morning. I figured I would clean the room then spend the rest of the day reviewing them. Didn’t realize this was an important audition and merited much of my weekend.

I like to memorize my sides (script section) because it makes it easier to perform. As I read the breakdown and reviewed the sides, I realized I needed a coach and a reader to help me learn the lines. Saturday was gone and even though I spent most of the day learning lines, they wouldn’t stick. After making a list and prioritizing what I needed to do, I saw the problem with memorizing my lines.

I just couldn’t get away from breaking a promise to myself, YET AGAIN. The truth is housework will always be there. My sister pointed that out to me and she’s correct. I had a great opportunity to work on a funny script. I asked a friend if she knew anyone who’s a coach and can help me with the lines. She did. I set an appointment and headed to Ojai with my friend for the day. Well, at least I thought it would be for about three or four hours, but no, it was the day.

The coach was great. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s also a stage director and had brilliant advice on the character. We were able to record it there. I am grateful to him and my friend who, by the way, drove.

The fact that I actually hesitated to stop everything I was doing to delay this great opportunity surprised me. Why would I do that? I dream of opportunities like this. Was it fear? Was it not feeling that I’m good enough?

Louise Jackson states: “We often have opposing desires, feelings, beliefs, and ideas. These can create internal conflicts and struggles that mean clashing forces feel like they’re fighting each other inside your brain. And expecting dramatic change overnight is incredibly stressful. …Trying to do too much at once makes you way more likely to break your promises to yourself.”

Yes, this was me. I had opposing desires and ideas. I rather be working on my creative endeavors, acting, writing and my podcast, yet, I like calmness. For me, calmness comes from a clean and organized home. I’ve started so many projects around the house only to leave them partially finished. I’ve worked on all my creative projects, just not the chores.

“Think about this same scenario, but played out in your relationship with yourself. You break your promises so many times you can start to doubt yourself. Even if your intentions to change are good and pure, it can be difficult to change because you lost credibility with yourself.” Ayodeji Awosika

So, what to do? I left the housework behind and decided not to beat myself up. Maybe I set too large an expectation. I then learned the script lines, got coached and recorded my self-tape. I understand that the biggest hurdle I had was that I didn’t want to once again break a promise to myself. I learned to practice self-kindness and to acknowledge that I might have perceptions (ideas) for the day, but life happens and there are gifts in the unpredictability of it.

So, I’m taking my sister’s advice and I’m spending an hour or less on clearing the guest room every day until it’s done.

Be kind to yourself. Understand life happens and many blessings.

Get a copy of my latest book: Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2

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Awakening Dreams Self-Forgiveness

Self ForgivenessSelf-forgiveness

“Forgiving yourself means letting go of the feelings and emotions associated with what went wrong. You let go of any resentment or anger. It may be easier to do this when forgiving others, but many find it hard to do this for themselves.” Betterhelp.com.

What causes us to prolong self-forgiveness? Why is it easier to forgive another–and yet, difficult to forgive ourselves? Can we find joy in the chaos? Is it our anger, bitterness, and stubbornness? When these feelings are felt, it’s a sign for us to forgive–ourselves or others.

Focus on the emotions. It’s a process of learning to forgive ourselves. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand why we feel a certain way. Is it part of our story or experiences? Understanding how we feel is opening a door to forgiveness.

I practice mirror work. If I can look at myself as I state my mistake/misunderstanding, I can move on. This is difficult because we don’t want to feel at fault or vulnerable. Yet, vulnerability is strength.

I write feelings/emotions down when I find them challenging to accept. Journaling or my pros & cons list goes something like this example.

  1. Why do I feel this way? Then I list the pros & cons.
    1. Pro: They needed to hear how they made me feel.
    2. Pro: I felt empowered for the moment.
    3. Con: I hurt them more than I imagined.
    4. Con: I responded too strongly to what the situation merited.
  2. Another method is I write a letter to myself using handwriting. Not a computer/phone or any electronic means. I address the wounded child within me. Can I forgive that child? Sometimes, it takes several letters before I can see the truth within myself. Practicing kindness to myself can lead to letting go and eventually joy.

We’ve all heard that we are our worst critics and we can be. For me, it’s the constant repetition of the situation. It repeats the many scenarios that could have happened. Could’ve, Should’ve, and would’ve are not our friends. It can take us down a rabbit hole which I have found to cause anxiety over a situation that might happen.

I ask myself what caused the breaking point? Was I too tired? Not enough sleep? Not feeling well? Did they push my buttons when I needed support? I’ve learned the hard way to bite my tongue because I came from the philosophy that honesty is the best policy. What I have learned is that it is not. Kindness is the best policy because honesty is just an opinion. One person’s truth is not mine and vice versa.

I have found that just pulling off the bandage and apologizing and making amends is best for me. What can you do to fix the situation? Be sincere in the apology. Know we might not remedy the circumstances, but understand that we all make mistakes and we need to learn how to forgive ourselves. I’ve had a situation where I was wronged. They never apologized and even though I have forgiven them, the relationship changed. There was a loss, and I realized my part was my perceptions were not in line with the truth of our relationship. I needed to be responsible for my beliefs. What part have you had in a relationship? Was it your perceptions? Were your needs not being met? Were your needs in alignment with theirs? Expectations of others can lead to misunderstandings. Expect what is true and forgive yourself when your perceived needs are not met. Self-forgiveness is a learning process and the sooner we learn the process, the calmer and faster we can move on.

“Choosing to forgive ourselves is a great act of compassion. Our compassion towards ourselves will radiate out into the world towards others. You will experience peace, joy, and humility. Your vibrational energy will rise. There are so many benefits to Self-Forgiveness.  I have come to learn that healing is truly from the inside out.” Belinda Haverdill from Spiral Path.

There’s a list of various in-depth articles that can help in your journey to self-forgiveness in the notes.

The poem for this week is: Alliance from The Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2 and will appear in my upcoming book. Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. This poem also appeared in the June podcast under expectations.

Alliance

Sometimes my essence aches because of the many adventures and events others have had without a mention, and I wasn’t there. Is it me? Is the perception of what they sense I am determining my behavior, my thoughts? We spoke of holiday two summers long set for the third. The third visit around the sun and I asked when are we going? I don’t know, was the answer. Facing the truth—via social media as I view the celebratory drink in hand with another. Visiting the places of visual beauty, of distant land we planned. Why not explain? Why falsehood? A sadness took over me. Was it them? Was it me? Was it my perceptions of childhood memories that stood in the way of the truth? A truth that hasn’t existed in decades. A long ago feeling attached to a person whom I’ve surrendered my alliance. Taking responsibility for my emotions as I breathe and let go. Let go of my ideas of the past. Do I blame them? No, I’m accountable for my beliefs. Will we plan again No. Our characters detached the blinders I wore since childhood. Abandoning my memories and allowing myself permission to move on.

Many blessings.

Follow me at: https://poeticresurrection.com/

Podcast: https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/

https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/e/awakening-dreams-expectations/

Helpful links:

https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/alphabet/view/11/forgiveness

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive-yourself#3.-Think-of-each-mistake-as-a-learning-experience

https://www.lifehack.org/837308/self-forgiveness

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/self-esteem/what-is-self-forgiveness-and-why-is-it-important-to-your-mental-health/

https://positivepsychology.com/self-forgiveness/

https://www.spiralpathhealingartscenter.com/post/self-forgiveness-as-a-spiritual-practice

https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/deepak-chopra-how-to-forgive-yourself_2

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_healthy_way_to_forgive_yourself

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes

https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/

Music: Passing Time by Kevin Macleod

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Overheard at Chica’s Café New Podcast

Overheard at Chica's CaféOverheard at Chica’s Café, Where Friends Meet is an entertainment podcast. New episode today. After producing two other podcasts, Poetic Resurrection, which is An introspective look at life and our Perceptions and Beliefs. It’s a self-help poetry site and Chica and the Man, As Unscripted as it Gets, is about two podcasters, Alex and Sonia who talk about anything that comes to mind on the day of the recording.

One of the episodes of Chica and the Man was called Overheard at Chica’s Café and I thought what a fun name for a podcast. It’s not gossip, just hearing two friends talk. This one is light and interesting, and the goal is to have it bring a smile to your face. Tune in.

Peace.

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Awakening Dreams – Doreen Calderon

Awakening Dreams Doreen CalderronThis week on the Poetic Resurrection Podcast – Awakening Dreams we have Doreen Calderon a friend, fellow actor, and transformational coach. We discuss acting experiences and how they led her to assist actors in recognizing their talents with self-awareness and acceptance. Stay tuned for a must-listen to episode for performing artists.

The Recognized Actor
Doreen Calderon coaches experienced actors and artists who work in the industry, but crave more.  She reliably helps professional artists wake up to the deepest and best they have inside them, then shows them how navigate their world with ease and grace. Clients gain clarity and understanding around the nature of the artist, the nature of the industry, and the nature of life. The Recognized Actor (founded 2012) has evolved from a postcard company, to a marketing company, and now is pure coaching. Doreen’s seasonal Action Groups combine goal setting, individual coaching, resources and community over the course of three months. Private sessions are tailored to the individual’s current needs. On Monday mornings, she facilitates her FREE on-line forum, “Now What?”, for those who already know the business, but yearn for deeper discussions around it. Her motto: “Quit thinking so much, just show up, and play!”

Doreen Calderon, is a Los Angeles-based actor, originally from Chicago. Conservatory trained, she worked in both legit and improv theater for ten years before arriving in L.A.. Recently, she was in the Oscar-nominated Live Action Short, Please Hold, now available on HBOmax. She can be seen in Maya Rudolph’s new AppleTV sitcom, Loot, (Ep. 2), as well as the Season Two premiere of ALLBLK TV’s, For the Love of Jason. In 2021, she shot four national union spots (AT&T, Hyundai, and Bank of America) as well as scenes for upcoming, Hulu and HBO projects. Past credits include: Riverdale, Call Me Kat, This is Us, Animal Kingdom, etc. She currently performs and teaches with Cold Tofu – the nation’s first Asian-American comedy group.

The Recognized Actor

FB:  https://www.facebook.com/TheRecognizedActor/

WEBSITE:  https://www.dcdesign8.com/

IG: @the.recognized.actor

NOW WHAT?:  https://calendly.com/recognized/now-what

Professional Actor

IMDb:  https://pro.imdb.com/name/nm0129522?s=b2c088ce-2349-cb8a-d1b2-47dcc7a38d31&site_preference=normal

IG:  @doreen_calderon

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Awakening Dreams – New Episode

Sonia Iris LozadaAwakening Dreams season will soon be coming to an end. We have two more episodes and I’m still thinking about what Season 5 will be about. I’ve changed the podcast to twice a month on the second and fourth Monday. This month it’s on July 11th with guest Doreen Calderon, actor, and transformational coach.

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Poetic Resurrection Podcast – Bimonthly

Sonia Iris Lozada Poetic ResurrectionIt’s been about a year and a half since I started the weekly Poetic Resurrection Podcast. I’ve met many beautiful and talented people. I’ve had several seasons.

The first season was about perceptions, which is what the Poetic Resurrection podcast is about. How we perceive thoughts and emotions to learn later in life might not have been our own.

Season two was about the theme of a Journey of the Soul, or, as others might call it, the higher self, the inner voice, universal knowledge, and inspiration. That inner voice teaches us our purpose and loves all, no matter our differences. It inspires, it’s tolerant, it’s accepting and appreciative.

Season three was Colors of Life. A look at how our differences can come together with acceptance and appreciation of our differences.

Season four is Awakening Dreams. The awakening of acceptance and how even the most difficult times can open up new opportunities to grow and live the life you can live. This is also the next title of my upcoming poetry book “Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams”.

Season five is up in the air. As of July 1st, Poetic Resurrection will be bi-monthly. It has been wonderful producing this podcast weekly but with two other podcasts: Chica & the Man (monthly) and soon to launch Overhead at Chica’s Café and working on acting projects it has become too much to produce, edit, and social media all the shows. Days to release will be on the second and fourth Monday of the month. So, in July it will be on the 11th and 25th.

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Awakening Dreams – Thierry Kehou

Thierry KehouIn this week’s Awakening Dreams episode, our guest is multifaceted Thierry Kehou. We first discuss publishing and his journey in translating English literature from the black Francophone diaspora. Also, Lampblack, a non-profit organization, and magazine publishing Black writers globally that helped create. Thierry is the Director of Programs & Partnerships for Poets & Writers where they offer Mapping the Maze, a professional development workshop for writers who are ready to make a concrete plan to get their work published.

Thierry Kehou is a founder and board member of Lampblack, and a writer and literary translator from French. He holds a BA in Individualized Study from New York University’s Gallatin School and an MFA in Creative Writing from Rutgers University Newark. His writing has appeared in Departures Magazine, The Huron River Review, Lampblack, and elsewhere. His working translation of Francis Bebey‘s Three Little Shoeshiners has received support from the Breadloaf Translators’ Conference and was longlisted for the 2020 John Dryden Translation Competition.

Kahou was the guest speaker at the French-American Foundation’s 35th annual Translation Prize held in 2022. His translation of Haitian writer Jean d’Amérique’s debut novel Soleil à Coudre will be published by Other Press in 2023. He is currently working on a novel.

Poetic Resurrection Podcast page

Lampblack website: https://www.lampblacklit.com/

Lampblack Twitter: @lampblack_lit

Lampblack Instagram: @lampblack_lit

 

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Awakening Dreams – Expectations

This week on Poetic Resurrection we’re going to discuss expectations. Why do we expect? What do we expect? I believe it depends on the circumstances. If I pay a vendor for a service or a product, I expect it to work. I also expect that this vendor has more knowledge than I do. For example, I expected I would do an episode last week. Well, I also expected to have the internet I pay for but that was not the case. It took me three days to get back online.

It’s good to be aware of expectations. Are they realistic? Are we expecting someone to act in a certain way? Expecting others to act according to a preconceived notion then we might have can lead to discontentment? Is that a requirement you’d like others to have of you? Sometimes, when we know the other person well, we expect them to behave a certain way. But people change and they should be allowed to change. There are many expectations that we have, and as I mentioned the vendor. Let us discuss expectations of ourselves and others.

Many expectations are connected to our perceptions of how situations and events need to work out. At the same time, who’s to say we’re, correct? Questioning our perceptions and seeing how they relate to our expectations can enlighten us on what we find important in our lives.

“First, merely expecting something to happen will not make it happen. For many of us, it is difficult to let go of the idea that expecting something to happen will make it happen.” Psychology Today

I did this with affirmations. If I state it long enough and with conviction, I expect it would happen. I certainly would be thrilled about it.

“Second, human beings have a natural tendency to pin their hopes for happiness on fulfilled expectations.”  Psychology Today

My experience with this is perceptions. Our perceptions are if I move to a home, city, country, etc. Then I would be happy. It can be a new job, a new place, or a new relationship. I feel I had to ask myself: why am I wanting to do something different outside myself? Is it me? Am I running from something, someone, or myself? I’m going to go wherever the change is. Is this a pattern in my life?

“The problem of expectation occurs when we expect something to happen without good reasons for that expectation.

Expecting life to always turn out the way you want is guaranteed to lead to disappointment because life will not always turn out the way you want it to. And when those unfulfilled expectations involve the failure of other people to behave the way you expect them to, the disappointment also involves resentment.

Let go of expectations and find something to be grateful about, even when things do not turn out the way you hoped, and you will experience serenity rather than resentment.” Psychology Today

“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own. Michelle Obama”

The poem for this week is Alliance from my upcoming book Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. You can also read it in my compilation book Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2.

Alliance

Sometimes my essence aches because of the many adventures and events others have had—without a mention and I wasn’t there. Is it me? Is the perception of what they sense I am—determining my behavior – thoughts? We spoke of holiday – two summers long—set for third. The third visit around the sun and asked—when are we going? I don’t know, was the answer. Facing the truth – social media—as I view the celebratory drink in hand with other. Visiting the places, of visual beauty of a distant land we planned. Why not explain—why falsehood? A sadness took over me—was it them? Was it me? Was it my perceptions of childhood memories which stood in the way of the truth? A truth that hasn’t existed in decades. A long ago feeling attached to a person whom I’ve surrendered my alliance. Taking responsibility for my emotions as I breath and let go. Let go of my ideas of the past. Do I blame them – no – I’m accountable for my beliefs. Would we plan again – No. Our characters unveiled the blinders I wore since childhood. Abandoning my memories and allowing myself permission to move on.

Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2 is available on Amazon

Listen to it on the PR Podcast page.

https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/e/awakening-dreams-expectations/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations