In honor of Mental Health Month, we discuss memories. Why do we forget them? What causes us to forget? How do we comfort a loved one who has dementia?
The last couple of months have been challenging in that my mom isn’t well, but grateful that she is quickly recovering. Last year, we needed to move her into a nursing facility because of her dementia. It was heartbreaking. Seeing this vibrant outspoken woman’s life change prompted me to find a comparison between depression and dementia. I’ve noticed not only my mom but some others I have known who have suffered from depression are also going through some form of dementia. Can this be true? I looked for a spiritual correlation between the two and didn’t find one that dealt with spiritualism alone and did not have an organized religion association. What I was looking for was are we made to lose cognitive skills in order to forget our depression? Is it a form of letting go of the past? Lao Tzu quoted “If you are depressed, you’re living in the past. If you have anxiety, you’re living in the future. If you have peace, you’re living in the present”.
A study of the association between depression and dementia by HealthDay News reported on WebMD.
“Depression is a risk factor for dementia, researchers report, and people with more symptoms of depression tend to suffer a more rapid decline in thinking and memory skills. While the study found an association between the two, it did not prove a cause-and-effect relationship.”
A Healthline article on vascular dementia
“Vascular dementia is caused by a narrowing or blockage in the blood vessels that provide blood to your brain. This reduced blood flow deprives your brain of much-needed oxygen, which can damage your brain very quickly.
Numerous conditions can cause this reduced blood flow to your brain, including:
- high blood pressure
- diabetes
- aneurysm or blood clot
- heart attack
- stroke
Of those, stroke is the most common cause of vascular dementia.
Vascular problems, such as stroke, high cholesterol, and hypertension, aren’t related to Alzheimer’s disease, as they are with vascular dementia. There is no known cause of Alzheimer’s, though your risk of developing it increases with age.”
I guess I’m trying to make sense of memory loss. I’m at the stage in my life where many of my friends and family are dealing with a loved one with dementia. It saddens me to see such beautiful people with beautiful lives lose their history.
The poem for this week is Memories—dedicated to my mom; from my upcoming book Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. This poem is also in my book Inspire Me Series Book 1 & 2 with excerpts from my upcoming book.
Memories
Today I go through my mom’s memories
I go through her pictures
I go through her life’s stories
I find her in the past
The memories she has forgotten
The ones from long ago
That linger in the glimpse of her life
Today I go through my mom’s memories
The ones she has tucked away
The ones her strokes cheated from her
The painful memories erased
What can I do to make your life easier?
What can I say to erase your traumas?
Do I ignore—when you forget?
Do I keep your sadness in my heart?
Today I go through my mom’s memories
The disappointments she kept close to her heart
The wanting to be loved yet feeling abandoned
The simple dreams she was deterred from
The disappointments fade
The abandonment fades
The sadness lingers
Today I go through my mom’s memories
And merge my memories with hers
Feeling the sadness, the disappointments
Wishing the sadness to fade
I love you, mom
AARP article on the Difference Between Dementia & Alzheimers
Symphony of Soul – Dementia a Spiritual Perspective
WebMD – Scientists Shed Light on the Link between Depression & Dementia